So far, so good.
They even waited up last night to greet me upon my return from work at 10 PM. They say, "How was work?" I say, "Fine." I used to tell then funny stories about things that happened at work, but that is too much information for them. I see now, that telling them how my colleague Rebecca picked me up in a move straight out of a Lucha Libre match would not amuse them. Then, it's time for the Good-Night Ceremony. Major pomp and circumstance which (for benefit of anthropologists everywhere), I will here describe.
Peggy and Terry sit on the sofa, staring straight ahead. Terry says, "Well, I think I'll make a move, now." Peggy says, "Yes, I was just thinking...". Both stand together. They always ask if they could just "nip a glass of water", to which I respond in the affirmative. They exit the family room and each say, "Good night. Well, I'll just have a wash and get ready for bed, and then I'll wish you a proper good night." One at a time, in robe and slippers, despite the heat, they perform their ablutions, then appear once more in the family room to say, "Well, then. I'll bid you good night. Good night." By this time, I feel like a complete moron, having said two informal "good nights" and four formal "good nights". Strange as it is, this is what is required.
I really don't think this is because they're British, although the fact that they do these stodgy things with heavy Suffolk accents (and, in my mother-in-law's case, a wet lateral lisp) makes it so....Monty Python. I know lots of British people who can go to bed at night without a presentation equivalent to the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.
While Simon and I are at work during the day, they still seem happy to sit at home and "potter" (search through our stuff). As I mentioned in an earlier entry, I removed and hid any objects which might cause parental consternation. I do wonder what they will think when they encounter my entirely EMPTY nightstand drawer.
11 comments:
Your night stand needs to have several half empty prescription bottles of viagra & valium (& maybe a whiskey flask, business card to a local tattoo shop, or wacky-weed paraphenalia).
Oh, and as an added touch... maybe an item or two suggesting you guys dabble in the occult.
S&M stuff ... you definitely need to add that too! :)
John
Yeah, I think for us, that would come right out of Monty Python. How about showing them "The Queen"??? Too risky perhaps, might be a cause for unnecessary discussion. I think you should just put a sign in your empty drawers, "Why are you looking here?"
Oh my goodness - I'm going to be staying with my friend and her parents in London for a week - is that what I'm going to have to experience? Holy Cow! Definitely good for a laugh though!
I say, throw in a smut book too! I mean, if you don't have one, I promise I'll bring you a copy of Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins. It'll do in a pinch ;-)
Christie
oh, and the reason to throw it in... you'll catch her READING it! LOL
Christie
Guys, guys, you're not reading carefully enough...see the end of June 23rd posting - oh, never mind, I'll just copy & paste for you:
"I will try to be good. Tempted as I am to rustle up sufficient sex toys so I could put one in every drawer, I won't. Simon asked me not to."
What a good wifey you are, darling!
John, I like your suggestions for the additional items...except I think there should be 5 or 6 empty bottles from viagra, rather than several half empty ones. ;)
Oh, gosh, I *hope* Simon's not reading this!!!!
Love the first comment here!!! OMG. Just add a porn dvd, coiled whip and some lube! Reading material has to include Judith Krantz' Scruples 2--WOW!!! When my mother came to my house, stuff was left as is--not out in the open, in drawers, of course. If she went lookin' well, i considered that HER problem!! (and she would totally never, ever mention it to me if she did)
LOL jyankee! That would be awesome!
All excellent ideas. And as soon as the in-laws leave, I'll take all of the things you've mantioned....out of the plastic shopping bag that is hanging on a nail in the back of the closet behind my blouses, and put it all back! :))))))
P.S., jyankee, "The Queen" is at the top of the NetFlix list!
See, now here we have a classic case of human psychology. Sure, you could load the drawer with sex toys, whips and chains, performance enhancers, porn, and the like, but then all you'll have is something that looks an awful lot like my own bedside table. Ah but the frustration she'll get from a completely empty drawer, it'll be like opening an empty cookie jar, and you're seriously craving Oreos. Perfect, just bloody perfect.
My goodness what a tickle Kate...the pomp and circumstance goodnight.Stiff British upper lip.
Put a giant jack-in-the box type thingi in your night stand drawer
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