I have to share a story I read in the paper about a Consumer Reports telephone survey of 1,000 respondents. The conclusion of the survey is that Americans indulge in all sorts of risky behavior. I read further, expecting a discussion of extreme skiing; wandering off into the desert; driving motorcycles without helmets; stuff like that. Turns out (as if you didn't already know) that I am a bad girl.
Did you know that 75% of Americans put cotton swabs inside their ears?
Yep. I do that. So much safer than the cap of a ball-point pen.
40% confess to having eaten raw cookie dough.
And raw cake batter, which is even tastier.
50% of us have a carbon monoxide detector in the home.
Well, we had one in the old house, when we had a wood stove, but not now. My colleague Rebecca says that she decided to get a CO detector after she and her husband got a fondue set. I find myself imagining a fateful dinner party at Rebecca's house: a fondue set the size of a jacuzzi, with corpses littering the dining room.
And 61% of us don’t have a rubber mat in the shower.
Shower mats remind me of a housemate I had once. He was trying to avoid some people who were looking for him (yes, this was a more exciting epoch in my life than the one I am currently experiencing), so he dyed his red hair "Rich Dark Brown". But the dye made his hair fall out. He would hoard it under the rubber shower mat. One day he took me into the bathroom to show me his hair collection and I really haven’t felt OK about shower mats since then.
This survey has done a lot for my feeling of suburban confinement. I AM edgy! If I stand on a street corner, licking the beaters from my hand-mixer, I could get a reputation. I have been wanting a reputation.
OK, time for true confessions. Please comment and share your responses to the following questions. Do you:
1. put Q-Tips in your ears?
2. eat raw cookie dough?
3. have a CO detector?
4. have a rubber mat in the shower?
11 comments:
Yup. I clean my ears with Q-Tips, have eaten raw cookie dough and cake batter, have a CO detector and no shower mat.
Sheesh! I'm turning into an American!
I think if you stood on the street corner licking cake batter from your beaters people wouldn't think you weird, they'd just ask if they could join you. Yum!
I stick Q-tips in my ears daily, despite my daddy's lectures of never sticking anything bigger than your elbow in your ear.
I still treat myself to the occasional spoonful of raw cookie dough but raw cake batter does nothing for me.
I don't have a CO detector and the very idea of of a shower mat grosses me out after peeking under my great grandmother's as a child and marveling at all the colors that gathered there.
Wow, and here I was thinking I was a responsible adult!
Yes on the Q-tips
No on the cookie dough (I'm just not a fan of the flavor)
Yes on the CO monitor (I do live in an old house).
No on the bath mat - reminds me of old people (much older than myself of course).
When I was a kid, my mother used to clean our ears with a bobby pin! I am amazed that my ear drums are intact.
I clean my ears with Q-tips and eat raw cookie dough but we don't have a co detector. Someone once gave us a free radon detector and we still haven't used it. I mean, do we really want to know?
And if you use a shower mat, they just get all slimy and gross on the bottom and hell if I am going to be the one to clean that shit...
Q-Tips - yes. Cookie Dough - yes. CO detector - No. Rubber mat - no, since I have little tiles :)
Nice seeing you drop by! :)
1. Daily.
2. Whenever I get the chance.
3. Yup. We also have A LOT of smoke detectors.
4. Over my dead body.
Perhaps the cookie dough.
I was watching Its A mad mad World today and I was thinking the same thing about those crazy crazy people out there.
Uh...I just typed a comment and it was eaten by the internet devils!
Summary: glad you are blogging again, was feeling like my neighborhood bakery closed and could not get my goodies. Love your one the lamb roommate story!
1)Yes, but I prefer to root around with a wash cloth.
2)Rapper DJSusan says "Hell to-tha-yea"
3) The French don't buy all that propaganda about CO. DeNile ain't just a river (works better verbally now that I re-read this).
4) No. Alice K's great grandmother must be my great aunt. I can still hear/feel what it was like to step on it. Ewe. Now I need to go take a shower.
1. put Q-Tips in your ears?
After showering. Very carefully.
2. eat raw cookie dough?
Not often. But I have.
3. have a CO detector?
Yup! It went off once when my neighbor was letting his van idle for way too long in the driveway, which is right outside my basement window. Idiot.
4. have a rubber mat in the shower?
Ick. No. And now that I've heard about the hair story I probably never will! I've considered it for when I'm old and infirm, but I'll have a walk-in tub by then, hopefully. Or I'll be dead.
Q-tips - yes. Once switched to a cheaper brand and got the cotton stuck way up my ear. Had to have the doctor flush it out. Still use Q-tips, but not the off-brands.
Cookie dough and cake batter - used to. I'm off the raw eggs now. As a kid, mom used to give us raw hamburger with kosher salt sprinkled on top. That might be cause for CPS these days.
Nope on the CO detector and the shower mat.
Glad to see you're focusing on the important stuff these days ;^D
Rubber shower mats? NO WAY!!!! I have kind of a phobia. You're trying to wash things off you, not collect them all at the bottom of the shower. Anything that traps things is not a good thing. Eew!
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