The Best Of Britain

Whew! It has not been that easy to find time to post, and I have loads of pictures and adventures to relay. We have visited castles and ruins, the Downs and the shore. Lots of bicycling and exploring. Now that I am getting my jet-lag under control and can stay up past 8:00 PM, I will try to post most days. Tonight, I do want to dedicate some time to things I like and don't like about England. Or maybe these things are unique to MIL and FIL. I need to hang out with Brits that are not psycho, so I will know.

Shall we start with my in-laws? NOT my favorite part of England. Nate gets up off the sofa, and MIL has to go over there and straighten the cushions. I come in for a minute and lay my purse and jacket across the chair, and I will return five minutes later to find the purse stuck in a cupboard ("where it's safe") (from whom?) and my jacket hung in my bedroom closet upstairs.

She has finally agreed to allow me to prepare a meal. I asked her about what she and FIL might like to eat and told her I would go to the farmer's market in the morning. She told me that she had already bought all the ingredients needed for me to make spaghetti.

There is a fearful symmetry in this house. Observe.


The whole house is like that. While we were out today, she had a little tidy-up and arranged all of our stuff to make it symmetrical. This includes tidying the bathroom windowsill so that Simon and I each have a nicely delineated area. See how she's lined up everything on a little tray? Of course, this afforded her the opportunity to go through all my toiletries. I notice that my pills have been moved to the forefront. I'll bet she wants me to know that she knows all my dirty little drug secrets. How boring if she were to discover that she's looking at vitamins and Ibuprofen.


Other random observances of life in England.... I like the electric kettle. It heats as well as the one I have at home, and it has this blue light.


I like bread bags. The British are good at maximizing space. Of course, this works better when the shelves are set back a little from the cupboard door.

I don't like all the ridiculous security measures. This is an interior door. Every night, we have to exit this room, so MIL can close the door, latch the door, lock the door with a key and pull a drape across it.

I am not able to photograph water pressure, but if I could... It generally takes three tries to flush the toilet. If I am showering and Si turns on the bathroom tap, the shower stops entirely. While we are talking about plumbing, let's discuss the taps.

Now, 20 years ago, when I lived in England, "mixing taps" were almost unheard of. You had two taps, hot and cold; and to wash your face, you filled a basin. And that was fine. Now you can see that we have hot and cold water coming out of one tap - sort of. This is the cold water coming out. See how it comes out of the right side of the tap? If I were to show you the hot water, it would be coming out of the left side of the tap. This means that, if you turn on a little of each and put your hands under the tap your hands will scaldfreezescaldfreeze. So, you fill a basin.

I do not like window treatment overkill. Is this England, or is this my MIL? Of course, England wouldn't be England without the ubiquitous lace curtains. But lace curtains plus blinds plus drapes? Every window in the house is the same. MIL goes all around the house at exactly 8:00 PM (or whenever sunset occurs) and closes every blind and every drape.

I like airing cupboards. I think the real reason for these is that many Brits dry their laundry on the line, and there isn't enough time between rain showers to get he wash actually dry. [BTW, I like the clotheslines, too. MIL has one of the umbrella variety that folds up for storage in the garage. ] So the half-dried wash retreats to the airing cupboard to finish drying. That unit in there makes the whole cupboard very warm. Also a great place to hang damp towels. Except, I invariably finish my shower, look for my towel, am unable to find it on the rail and remember that damn, it's in the fucking airing cupboard.

I like BBC Question Time! This comes on after the evening news. Tonight, the show was aired in Birmingham. The local leaders, party representatives and the Member of Parliament take questions and address the issues of their constituents on national TV. Won't find THAT in the States!

Si is downstairs right now, watching the end of it. The kids are fast asleep, and I am dying to get to bed myself. More to come. It's a cliffhanger here in Rustington, West Sussex. WILL I be able to make spaghetti, using the sauce from a jar that my MIL has supplied for me? WILL the entire Diggins family manage not to bring up the whole breast cancer thing for our entire visit? So far, they have not mentioned it or even hinted at it. Lovely! Maybe it never happened. I imagined the whole thing. Will we be able to stand the suspense as the hours pass tomorrow, awaiting the blessed arrival of their other set of grandchildren? ("Are you excited to see your cousins? Are you excited to see your cousins? See that street corner right there? Do you know that your cousin Holly once stood on that corner and waved to us? Do you think you'll enjoy seeing your cousin? I'm sure she'll tell you all about the time she touched that exact same crayon you are touching right now!")

All this and more in the next installment!