Australia

[WARNING! I'm going to talk about S-E-X in this entry. When I made up my mind to start blogging again, I promised myself that I would stop worrying about who my audience is and just write what I feel. So, if you happen to know me personally and don't want to think of me in certain situations, go read a nice, tasteful blog.]

We watched the film Australia last night, and I loved it! As a comedy. Was it meant to be a serious film? There were times at which I thought it was meant to be a parody of itself. Naming the beef company King Carnie? Driving cattle straight down a wharf and into the belly of a ship? The way the Drover kept herding the same herd of horses past the ranch house in scene after scene? It was funny!

There're lots of great make-out scenes as well, between Nicole Kidman (for whom Si has a lot of appreciation) and Hugh Jackman (whose corded forearms made me swoon). I felt unpleasantly jealous during the love scene, though. Not so much because I don't get to fall onto a bed with Hugh Jackman, but because I envy anyone's ability to abandon themselves to sex at the moment. I thought, "Well, when he touches her, she knows she's being touched at least. At least she knows she's all real, and doesn't have to wonder where the fake stops and the real starts." At my house right now, sex is a little more like, "Ummm... OK. Let's see... maybe if we tried...no hold on. That's not going to work. Sorry, my arm won't go there."

I do have a better memory than a codfish, and so I recall that I felt similarly after my last surgery. Pain, numbness, and just (and this is the worst, actually) unfamiliarity with what is supposed to be MY BODY. It's all strange. Again. Where the hell did these boobs come from!?!

Later, I was telling Si about it and he reminded me that we had covered this territory before, and that I would feel better about it soon. I told him that it bugged me to think of these movie characters just being able to flop down and have great sex with no problem.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? OTHER PEOPLE ARE HAVING BETTER SEX THAN I AM!

"Well, that's the disconnect between movies and reality."
"No! I think the opposite! That is what normal people do. The movie is depicting reality." [Yeah, the torrid love scene is the most realistic moment in the whole film.]
"Do you really think so? I think most people are like us. Always trying to deal with some little problem that's getting in the way."

What do I know about other people's sex lives? I suppose he could be right. Or maybe the crux of the problem for me really is that I need to have it off with Hugh Jackman. Men, if you're out there, work on your forearms. The whole corded wrist thing is...veeeeeery nice.