Game On!

http://www.thegameondiet.com/

We're doing this at work, in teams of three; and I made it through Day One pretty well. Not a silly crash diet - this is a whole healthy lifestyle thing, but with the added incentive of competition and trash talk. I do love trash talk. So, yeah, I do have to watch what I eat, and there's an exercise element as well. Those things are actually not too difficult for me, although I am going to miss my heaping morning bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

BUT, there are rules about alcohol. Ah, shit.

And sleep. A 7-hour requirement! Every night! For me, that means in bed, lights out by midnight if I want my team to get points. I like sleep; but when am I supposed to read, bake, fix broken stuff, finish my Christmas cards (I know, I know...), clean the house or learn to use my new camera that Santa brought?

Simon likes the sleep rule. He has checked the small print carefully. It says, "In bed with the lights out." Nothing about sleeping, per se. [For Pete's sake, Si, my boobs are duct taped together and Panama is mapped in bruises on my butt and you want to WHAT?] Gosh, Si, I'd love to have sex, but I'm afraid I'm too busy peeing.

That's 'cuz of the water rule.

The water rule is the most oppressive. Three fucking liters of water a day. Lifting the water bottle to my mouth and drinking 3 liters of water is like hauling a ball and chain. It's torture. Is this really necessary? Proponents say stuff like, "Your body can burn fat more efficiently if it has plenty of water." or "Your skin will be luminous and you'll look younger." Yeah, well I drank water all day today and I do NOT look any more luminous than when I started. And I had to pee all day. I can't make it through my commute without needing to pee. I can't make it through a meeting. A phone call. A thought. The diet book dismisses this airily: "Oh, you'll get used to it." I think I was maintaining adequate hydration before, on coffee and Scotch.