A New Name

So, the name of the program I work for is VIP, which stands for Voluntary Improvement Program. Who the hell thought of this lame-ass name? Uh, yeah, everyone really is OK with being here. As opposed to that other, involuntary improvement program across town.

I have carried this burden of hate for 18 years. Then a new member of the Board of Directors ventured to call it a little bit strange; and I said that there was nothing I would love more than to change it, if I only could. My boss looked surprised and relieved. "I always thought we couldn't suggest that to you, because you loved the name so much." What?? Are you kidding me?!? How soon can we change it? "As soon as you can think of a new name," she said.

Cool.

Uh....

It's not as easy as it seems.

First of all, let's list some very, VERY overused components: English; Language; Study; Skills; Center; Learning. Here in Salt Lake, you can find the English Language Center, the English Skills Learning Center, the English Language Study Center. So, forget that.

So, how about something metaphorical? You've got your peaks, your horizons, your bridges, your helping hands, and loads of other trite, shopworn names. I know of a program called something like The Blossoming of the Flowers of Learning.

And I have an aversion to acronyms as well.

My colleague, B. had a good idea. Why not just choose a word that we like and build the new name's acronym around that word? Hmmmmm... Of course, the first pleasant word that came to me was EAT. "English... for Adult.... uh..... T. T. English for Adult....T.T.T.T.

B. thought of ACNE. Adult Classes iN English.

I love it! I wonder if my boss will embrace it.