The best part of having friends is the occasional pleasure of having someone you can just sit and listen to. I don't get to do this very much; not even with my best friends. Usually there's eating, playing, laughing, etc...
David L. is one of the volunteers who tutor English in our program; he's been assigned to me for...I dunno...5 years? Some of our volunteers stay for a long time. David and I are friends to the extent that you can be when, all the time that you're together, you're focused on the needs of a bunch of other people. He likes to ride his bike to classes, and once in a while he'll beg for a ride home if it starts to rain, or if, like last night, we are slammed with an arctic blast. He always apologizes for the inconvenience, and I laugh - I like the company. He's a medical researcher at the U., so he usually tells me about his latest study. For several years, this involved rat brains, but he's just started something new: investigating the effects of our emotional states on our health. To say he's into it doesn't begin to express...
He was animated about this topic as we rode along and, after we got to his place, we sat in the car in his driveway for almost an hour. It was the most relaxed I have felt in a couple weeks. David is a way more highly evolved person than I am: serene, spiritual, unselfconscious. I imagine he must find me a little high-strung. Sometimes, he says I should try meditation, but I don't meditate well. Hmmm... a chance to sit still and think about my to-do list... It was great to just sit in the dark car while he told me about his study. Occasionally, I would ask a question or say something, but I was happy just listening and not worrying about where I was supposed to be or other things I was should have been doing. He talked about attitude and how people's sense of themselves influences their health. He wonders if people would be healthier if they attempted to live in the moment more often. I don't know if he realizes that he gave me about an hour to do exactly that.
Pretty cold evening for it, though. By the time I left, I couldn't feel my toes. Thanks for the down-time, David, but next time, could we go to a coffee shop or something?
9 comments:
maybe you should have left the car running and turned on some heat????
I left it running for a while, but then I started feeling guilty about it and turned it off.
It is so interesting how what we are feeling and experiencing is reflected back to us in so many ways. All day I have been telling myself that I must, MUST be positive and patient. I believe it. But it is harder to do than to speak of. I believe he is very right. I think our health is tied to our emotional well-being. I think a lot more is tied to it, too. Like our happiness level, our ability to integrate into society, our very raison d'etre.
I'm glad you had that time, Kate. You deserve it. :)
I love it when someone comes along who just makes the world stop for a while.
I bet your blood pressure dropped and your relaxation levels steadied in that hour.
But...good hell, yes.Next time do the coffee thing. I got cold just reading the post.
Dave 's words must have been heartwarming.
David sounds like a really neat guy. And though I completely sympathize with the cold feet, to have done it in any other way would not have been the same kind of stop the world on its axis experience.
It IS great to listen to someone who is so easy to listen to, so engaging, that you don't have to say a word.
Send him over here! LOL. Maybe he can get MY mind to shut up for awhile.
Wow, Kate, that's amazing. I ran into David at Wild Oats/Whole Foods on Sunday and we blocked the salad mix for a loooong time, talking about his research. The City Library has the book he told me about on hold and we're going to talk more. I've been having deep discussions with my brother about some of the same things David and I were discussing, since I've been struggling just being in the world lately. More later.
Kate, who says you're not highly evolved? I don't know you enough, but find what I've read in your blog to be funny, interesting, articulate.
Cool story about how the conversation itself was a bit of a meditation, or at least a taming of the racing mind.
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