Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Sexy, in a Parallel Universe

We should have a name for this. Like... "weeder's back" or "short shirt hell" or something. I remembered to screen up all the rest of me, but forgot this bit. Because I have vitaligo, I can crisp up like a tasty bacon bit in 10 minutes or less.

OMG! Of course! I have discovered my gift! Albinism!


There is an up-side to this. (Quick! Buy aloe vera futures!) It's a trial "slut-tat". That's what my friend Moira calls tattoos on the small of the back; but, despite my fear of her low opinion, I have always been tempted. Maybe that would look good.... I asked Simon for his feedback on my sunburn-as-trial-tattoo. He looked at me as if I were a specimen recently acquired by the Mars Rover. "It's a sunburn." "OK, OK, yeah. But squint at it." He gave me one of his "get back on your ship and return to your own kind" looks and picked up the newspaper.
I tried out my concept on my coworker Becca, when I asked her to take the photo. She pondered my ass for a moment then said, "Wait for this one to clear up, and then do it again. But next time, I'll come over and do, like, a tribal pattern with sunscreen before you start, so you can really get the effect."
Maybe a press-on would be good enough.

8 comments:

Katherine said...

OUCH!!! OUCH!!!! OUCH!!!

I'm so sorry! That must HURT!

The tat on the back is called a "slut tat"?? Did a male make up the phrase?

Damn, if I didn't have stretch marks on my lower back, I would get one! They're cool looking.

Anonymous said...

Ouch! Does it hurt???? eeewww....

super hero said...

we call it "workman tan" in turkish, because you see, workmen get tannned only from the body parts which are exposed to direct sunlight which are not covered by their shirts, while they are working under sun. and when they take off their shirt, you see a white body with tan arms, belly, etc.

Lillian said...

Ouchie!

dive said...

EEEK!

We used to do sunscreen "tats" when we were kids. Go for it, Kate!

Anonymous said...

I think you should go for the "reverse-bikini" sunburn next. :)


Anonymously, John

cinnibonbon said...

LOL..oh you're cracking me up!!!
A Slut tat...I keep hearing that lately...while I have none and never wished to have a tat...the hubs does..hence the kidddo wants some too!!! I hope she bnever decides to do it!!
BUT...as for you getting back to your ship...oh man...I almost spit my drink!!!!! Love it!!

Rebecca said...

We call those tats tramp stamps.

But dang, that looks painful!!! Ouch.