More Crazy Cock-Ups in the Kitchen

The weather sucks today! So windy that there were times when I looked out the window and expected to see a chicken coop flying by, a la Wizard of Oz. So much for hiking with Diane! But all is not lost - there's still wine; and Diane had beets from her garden. We decided to play kitchens, while it was Si's job to uncork the lubricant for our talents. Or something. Tonight's menu: Two Potato and Beet Hash with Poached Eggs and Greens. [Ohhhh. Now that I am looking at the recipe again, I see, in small print under the name of the dish, "For tips on poaching eggs, see p. 230." Would that have helped?]; crusty bread; Pear Upside Down Spice Cake.

First, the cake. I make this cake all the time, and I think I have even blogged this recipe, so never mind about how it is made. I'll just say this: it's easy enough that you can chat and drink while making it.

The kids each got a beater. Rubber spatula? Mine! Diane is company, so she got the bowl.

She's such a lady.

Now, down to business on the hash.

Ingredients, for 4 servings:

1 T of EVOO

1 C finely chopped onion

3/4 lb. Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cubed

3/4 lb. sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed

1T chopped fresh sage

3 garlic cloves, minced

1/2 lb cooked beets

1/2 t salt

1/2 t black pepper

1 T red wine vinegar

4 lg. eggs

First, chop all this shit. Drink while chopping.

1. Heat 1 T oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. Add onion to the pan, saute for 5 minutes or until tender and golden brown. Check.

Add potatoes, 2 t sage and garlic. Here's my sage. Still holding out in the garden.

Cook for 25 minutes or until the potatoes are tender, stirring occasionally. We were roasting the beets in the meantile, so I get those out and peeled them.

I look lke a murderer. It's one of my favorite things about cooking beets. Out! Out damn spot!

OK. Stir in beets, 1/4 T salt, 1/4 t pepper, cook 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Still looking good...

2. Poached egg time! OK, I confess, I have never poached an egg. Scrambled, fried, over-easy, hard and soft boiled, yes. Poached, no. So, sue me! It's just never come up! But the instructions were clear, and I followed them.

Add water to a large skillet, filling it two-thirds full. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer. Add 1 T vinegar. Break each egg into a custard sup, and pour gently into the pan.

Look how gentle I'm being! See how the water is slightly tinged from the vinegar, and that we have a good amount of water!

Cook for three minutes, or until desired degree of doneness. Uh... are they supposed to look like that!?! Now, I have to tell you that I went to page bloody 230, and there was no additional wisdom there, except to tell me that poached eggs are tricky. You don't say... Remove eggs from the pan using a slotted spoon. Unless they are kinda stuck to the bottom of the pan...

Still, it plated up beautifully. Look at that!

And the taste testers agree: IT SUCKED! Uneven doneness in the potatoes, messy eggs, and an overall lack of melding in the flavors. Simon did not complain, but just now I saw that he has made a big "X" across the recipe in the magazine. I get the hint, my love. It wasn't apalling, but it is not a keeper. Diane, there are only a few friends that I wold invite over to cook and eat experiments!

But, there's still the cake. God, I love an upside down cake. Just the "voila!" factor. Watch this!

Voila!

Now I just have to clean the egg out of the bottom of the pan.

Pondering Infidelity

Maybe the time has finally come. We've been together for so many years. In the beginning, it was great; and my life has been changed for the better: really, it has. And I have weathered so many changes over time. But for the last six months or so, I find I just can't stomach the...lack of originality! The duck-and-cover attitude in response to the poor economy. No more dreams, no more playfulness, no more...well...fantasy. I need to feed my fire.

But, can I really bring myself to turn my back on the history that we share together? I mean, I have two entire card boxes filled with recipes from Cooking Light. Almost every meal I prepare for my family has come from that magazine.

There have, over the past 10 years, been various "face lifts"; but the latest version drives me crazy. I have spent a lot of time pondering the source this sudden hostility. I think the truth will hit very close to home for my fellow adventure-starved suburban working moms who used to have lives. I need a cooking magazine that plays to my imagination. I used to love the photos of beautiful dinner party tables. The "Travel" section, so I could visualize myself (wearing an outfit from Chico's) in that exotic locale. The "Fit House" section, with the Viking, SubZero, movie-star kitchens. The edgy recipes with wild combinations of ingredients! But now it's all about affordability, speed, simplicity. Because I am a suburban working mom, I appreciate those things...but I already have a bunch of practical, prosaic recipes.

At any rate, I was trying to learn to love the new "reflecting a new reality" version of Cooking Light, until I saw this in the restroom at work, and the seduction began.

Why read "25 Common Kitchen Mistakes" or "New Uses for Everyday Ingredients" when I can read this?

The question is, have I sinned? This is still in the "infatuation" stage. Technically, it isn't adultery until there is penetration. I haven't actually tried a recipe, yet. I know, this rationalization is ugly. Help. I need an intervention. Or a vacation to Turkey.

Klutz's Kitchen

I haven't done a cooking post for awhile - I haven't been doing much culinary stuff lately. But the new issue of my cooking magazine featured yummy things to do with strawberries, including this lovely-looking cake. All right!

I am going to forgive this cake for being girlie-girl pink. Strawberries will do that. And the color of the cake has nothing to do with breast cancer. You get breast cancer, next thing you find yourself surrounded by pink stuff. I don't think the cake is sending me a subliminal message or anything (Bake for the Cure)... Whatever. A thing of beauty is a joy until it's all eaten up, so here we go.

Cake:

1 1/4 C sliced strawberries

2 1/4 C flour

2 1/4 t baking powder

1/8 t salt

1 1/2 C granulated sugar

1/2 C butter, softened

2 lg. eggs

2 lg. egg whites

1 C low-fat buttermilk

1/4 t red food coloring

Frosting:

3 oz low-fat cream cheese

1/3 C butter, softened

2 T Grand Marnier (or cheap knock0off)

3 C powdered sugar

[A little inspiration before starting]

1. Preheat oven to 350 F.

2. To prepare cake, place sliced strawberries in food processor; process until smooth.

3. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour, baking powder and salt, stirring with a whisk.

Place granulated sugar and 1/2 C butter in a lg. bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until well-blended. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in egg whites. Add flour mixture and buttermilk alternately to sugar mixture, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Add pureed strawberries and food coloring; beat until just blended.

Ooooh. Gratifyingly pink. Geeze, do we even need the food coloring? Well, I will obey the instructions.

4. Divide batter between 2 (8-inch) round cake pans coated with cooking spray. Well, I don't have 8-inch rounds. I have 9-inch rounds. No biggie - I just won't bake it as long.

Damn, that's pretty!

Bake at 350 F for 30 minutes or until a pick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Um... first sign of trouble. They are looking a little flat. I don't think this is just about the 9-inch pans. I wish I could ignore the fact that Salt Lake City is at something like 5,000 feet above sea level but...I think that reality is about to hit home.

Remove from pans. Cool completely on wire racks. (Sigh!) Yep. Should've modified the recipe... Still, it looks golden and lovely. Well, this one does. The other one had a crumbly time coming out of the pan.

5. To prepare frosting, place cream cheese, 1/3 C butter, and liqueur in a medium bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until just blended. Gradually add powdered sugar, and beat until just blended.

6. Frost cake and garnish with strawberries. Oh dear. It's looking irrevocable.

Then comes the phenomenon in which the cake crumbles under the pressure of being frosted, and you realize that you have created a shitty mess. Shall we scroll back up to the top of the page to look at the magazine photo? Oh, let's not.

Then you remember that you are NOT planning on entering this cake in the county fair, and that strawberries cover a multitude of sins. Notice Nathan's thieving mitts right there. He is undaunted by the cake's ugliness. Or its mass. Si ate it with relish, raving, "Wow, this almost competes with your biscuits for the title of Densest Matter in the Universe!'

They all loved it, which proves one of my pet theories: kids LOVE, LOVE, LOVE dessert, no matter the quality. I told them, "I could mix up some butter and sugar for you guys, and you'd love it." Nate said, "A perfect dessert just needs butter, sugar and wine." I think he meant the Grand Marnier?