Monday, March 3, 2008

Guess I'll Go Eat Worms

Do you ever just feel so miserable and you cannot figure out why? I was all set to create an upbeat post about snowshoeing, but I'm actually incapable of it today. I'll put in a picture of some aspens in the snow, as it is appropriately bleak.


There! I feel better already. Well, not really.

Sometimes, when I'm inexplicably bummed, I can figure out what the problem is; I just need to stop, consider my day, and try to locate the molten core of Planet Pity-Party. That hasn't worked well, today. Not even a gin and tonic, reading Harry Potter aloud and a dish of Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint ice cream have helped me find my center. So, my last resort is to slap myself around a little.

Multiple choice quiz, Kate:

Are you being a self-absorbed schmo because you...

A. are hormonal? In which case, live with it. PMS happens.

B. have a backache from lifting weights yesterday? In which case, take a hot shower and live with it.

C. are tired because you were up until 2 AM doing office work? So, go to bed! Duh.

D. are pissed off because the neighbor boy came over to play yesterday and, when it was time to go home, his 13 year-old brother professed shock and horror that the boys were about to watch "Transformers", which he said was "inappropriate"? ("Have you started this!? Where are you in this movie? He's not allowed to watch movies like that!") In which case, shrug. No, don't. It hurts your back.

E. are nervous because the school is having a major fundraising breakfast first thing in the morning, two of your students are featured speakers, they are both English language learners who have never done any public speaking before, and you're responsible for making sure it all goes well? In which case, excuse me?!? You think YOU'RE nervous? They are about to stand up in front of 500 people, including the mayor of Salt Lake. This is SOOOO not about you.

F. are aggrieved because you'll have to get up at 6:15 AM tomorrow to be at the breakfast on time? Well, that solution is (again)... gettest thou to thy beddie-bye.

G. feel paranoid that the mild nausea you are experiencing is some sort of killer super-flu which is poised to hit you at any moment? Or, could it be caused by the fact that you're hormonal, achy, tired, pissed off, nervous and aggrieved? Mixing gin and tonic with mint chocolate ice cream wasn't very bright, either.

Just....go to bed. Give up. Tomorrow will be better.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh no! hope it isnt that nasty bug that's been going around the world...good luck with the budget thing...your students will do well..im sure!

The World According To Me said...

Oh dear, not even gin and tonic, ice-cream or Harry Potter could cheer you up?!

I hope the fund raising breakfast goes well, and you had a good nights sleep beforehand.

Watch out for those worms!

Nice picture though.

The World According To Me said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

hey, even when bummed you can still put together a pretty entertaining post. it's all PMS' fault, it always is.

Lillian said...

Inquiring minds want to know how the breakfast went, and if Kate got any sleep, and how quickly the neighbor boy was told to please leave and go *not* watch Transformers somewhere else thank you very much.

My nephew once told me that MY video game - MY VERY OWN video game - was pornographic. Chicks in bikinis playing beach volleyball, you know.

No shrugging allowed.

cinnibonbon said...

OMG..that is one damn funny post!!!
I'm so sorry y ou are not not up to par, but damn girl, even in your down state you can rock the English language....PS..also loved those pics of those nasy spiders..WTF!!!!

Rebecca said...

Oh, man, on the heels of Friday, that IS a bad day!! And while I love a good gin and tonic, I can't imagine letting it anywhere near minty ice cream. Your poor belly. But unless you are drinking tequila, no worms for you ;) [by the way, i think Monday was either national PMS day, or holy crap what the hell else can happen day. If it wasn't, it shoulda been!]

Gypsy Jane said...

Yeah. When I have days like that it's usually related to what I've been eating. The refined carbohydrate effect inevitably produces emotional melt-down in Gypsy Jane sooner or later.