I'm not as indifferent to Eliot Spitzer's problems as I would like to be. I wonder, sometimes, about the barometric pressure at his family supper table these days. I have occasionally stopped to ponder how, when the stakes are so high, the guy couldn't keep his zipper up.
Simon, though , is fascinated. He gets a glint in his eye when he talks about it.
Now, I don't think my husband is cheating on me. I don't think he ever would. But I have to admit that his fidelity has more to do with his aversion to risk that his undying devotion to me.
When I happened to mention that I thought it was unwise for a high-profile smut-buster to engage in extra-curricular donkey-dipping, Simon's expression softened.
"Well, yeah. But I understand why he did it."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Look, he probably loves his wife. This isn't even really about her. This is about The New. The Different. The Exotic."
He spoke with a relish.
Later, Simon told me that he had seem a picture of "Kristen" on MSN. I couldn't help being a little bit interested. I have been trying to figure out what makes a f*** worth $5,500 an hour. Does she know how to do stuff I don't know how to do? Like what? (If I could type with my hands on my hips, that is where they would be.) As Leonard Pitts said in his Op-Ed piece the other day, "What does she do? Sweat Dom Perignon?"
"Aaaaaaand? Your opinion?"
"She's bodacious!!"
Again, the relish.
So I had a look for myself. Can you believe it? She's better looking than I! And she's 22, which helps. Once, a long time ago, I was 22 for a whole year.
I went to find Simon and acknowledged that Kristen was hot. But I pointed out to him that I am almost as bodacious as she is, and with the added bonuses of proximity, affordability and culinary skills.
I do want to address something else, here. This whole thing about men craving The New. The Different. The Exotic. Yeah, right. And women? All we want is you, The Spouse. The moment the rings go onto our fingers, we look at no one, desire no one else. We wish for nothing more than the privilege of boffing the same guy for the Rest Of Our Lives. It's all about you, Mr. Hot-Stuff.
I tried this out on Simon, hoping that he would be awed by the sudden insight. Instead, he countered that the vast majority of prostitutes service men, not women. If women want what men want, where are all the gigolos?
Uh, well...hmmm.... I didn't have an answer to that. Any theories?
11 comments:
women are more mature???? LOL...good question.... no doubt that papa bean might say the same...and Japanese men are NOTORIOUS for having affairs...Papa Bean says that if he HAD money...he might be at risk too, but he's too poor to go looking for anyone right now...
women dont need any gigolos. just wave a hand and you will get more than you want and for free.
Anyone who craves the "new" and "exotic" shouldn't be in a relationship anyway.
Sorry for the bitter but in my experience the women are worse than the men, which is why I'm happy to live alone these days.
"...with the added bonuses of proximity, affordability and culinary skills."
Very funny, Kate!
I have to agree with super hero and say that it would be entirely unneccessary for a woman to have to *pay for sex. A wave of the hand would do it.
i read about this in the newsapapers.
happy St Pat 's Day
My personal theory would be that as a general rule (realizing everyone is different and there are exceptions) women desire sex for different reasons than men. Those reasons can't be purchased. I think men do relish the thrill of new and beautiful and out of their reach. Money puts into their reach what is normally impossible. I think women crave affection and love and future. The sex can be purchased if that's all you want, and that is usually what men want. The symbolism behind the sex can't be purchased, and I think that is what most women want.
But, maybe I'm just old fashioned and naive. I totally believe in women's rights and consider myself a feminist. But I also believe in biology. We are simply wired differently and all things are not the same.
My husband and I just had an interesting discussion about prostitution, Kate.
I'm a complete prude about it. I think it's degrading to both men and women no matter who is doing whom. I have less problem with people just "doing it" so long as they are up front about just wanting to "do it." Paying for it is SO demeaning!
Hubby thinks clean, regulated prostituion is okay if the women didn't get conned into it.
We argued about the whole "whore" image and how unhealthy that is, and we agreed to disagree. I didn't have to question his fidelity, knowing he would never do it even if we were not together. I also don't have to question it because I know he couldn't afford it. Convenient, isn't it?
Not ALL men crave the new, the different, the exotic. Some just want a best friend, a confidant, a lover.
And...
Not All women marry for the privalege of boffing the same guy for the rest of their lives. Some would rather see their "spouse" as a object to be used.
I don't know what drives men like Spitzer to do what they do, and I don't really care either.
As far as I'm concerned, if a man is willing to fork-over 5G's for an hour of her time, AND it's a WILLFULL (not forced) act on her behalf, all the power to her.
I may be just funny this way, but I believe spouses shouldn't be looking at each other as objects to use. They should be treating each other as persons worthy of dignity & respect....regardless of gender.
Anonymously, John
Hey Kate- You can find out how much you are worth per hour here. Then tell your hubby to pay up! :-)
Prostitution should be legalized, pure and simple. It will never be perfect, but if a woman chooses it as a profession, she should not be afraid to come forward in cases of abuse or whatever because she's afraid of the law. Laws should protect PEOPLE, not moral codes.
"Japanese men are notorious for having affairs", but NOT for leaving their wives! Think about it!
I think we all fantasize about a secret life, perhaps some more than others.......
I just don't get why those wives have to stand next to their spouse while he talks about how sorry he is for hurting them. I always wish that she would just stand behind him and mimic him viciously.
Now, THAT would be interesting.
And, good hell...she cost THAT much? Damn. Even when I was 22 and had that perky boob thing going on, I didn't know any good tricks like knotting cherry stems in my mouth, etc.
You never see Bill standing behind Hillary looking stoic while she talks about how sorry she is for fucking the room service guy.
I doubt that George will ever have to stand behind Laura while she apologizes for bopping that cashier at Barnes and Noble.
shit, women won't PAY for it!!! At least not with money.
I think men and women are wired a little differently, but they both have the potential for wanting baggage free anonymous sex, while still wanting the warmth and comfort of the spouse at home.
I also think that powerful people can suffer a "because I can" complex. They know it's wrong, but don't think they can be outed.
I also think that the vast majority of the fee is not for the fuck, it's for the discretion. Alimony is payment for the aggrieved party!
My problem with Spitzer is not that he hired a prostitute, it is with his hypocrisy. And the fact that he just taught his daughters how they can expect to be treated. Hopefully their mother can right that ship!
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