My eleven-year-old daughter brought home a letter outlining the annual Fifth Grade Spring Fair. Big misnomer! This is in fact a time when the parents come in and teach a class on anything they choose. Sara is adamant. I can't even get out of it by pleading "conference" or "meeting". There are four different days to choose from. Booger.
The Spring Fair plays to one of my biggest insecurities: [whispered] I am not really good at anything. Well, Simon has a few ideas, but they would get me arrested. Shut up, Simon; I'm serious. I am passable at many things. I can get a tasty, healthy meal on the table. I'm a competent parent. But my real skills? Writing grants. Ooooh! Kids would love that. Teaching people to speak English. Keeping stuff organized. Coordinating volunteers. You see, nothing really translates well to 60 minutes in a fifth grade classroom. Sara is aware of my shortcoming. She has been known to say that, if forced to keep a group of kids entertained, I would probably resort to worksheets. I have dabbled in some things over the years. I was good at belly dancing, but both times I took a class, I got pregnant. Have fun speculating on that. That's a micro-example of the greater issue: having time for oneself after the job, the kids, the spouse, the house, the yard.
The school sent home a list of ideas, based on things other parents had done in the past.
Cooking. Well, shit. 15 people will sign up to do that. It's the creative outlet of last resort, since families have to eat.
Sewing. I have a sewing machine. I used it once to make a bean bag. I have a sneaking feeling that I could be good at sewing, given a little guidance, instruction and TIME. I like to sew. I mean, I like to imagine myself sewing.
Painting, charcoals, cartooning...uh..I make stick figures...
Tole painting. Oh come on.
Hair styles, nails. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
First aid. I can apply a Bandaid. I can remain calm while soliciting help from others...
Hiking and canyon safety. OK, I'm good at that. But how do you teach it without a field trip? Same with other things I excel at, like camping, backpacking, canoeing.
Sports of any kind. I suck at everything except running. If it has a ball in it, I have no aptitude. Skiing, maybe, but in this part of the world, that skill is almost as ubiquitous as cooking.
Music. In a past life, I had a trained voice. Now I sing in the shower.
The list goes on for a while, including some suggestions like: dissection; decorating with fruits; bonsai trees; scrap booking. I have tried scrap booking. I am really, really bad at it. In fact, if my audience were adults, I could do a hilarious parody of scrap booking. This is partly because my scissors skills should have got me held back in Kindergarten, and partly 'cause I'm such a cheapskate. I look at a scrap book page and think, "This paper it so expensive; I should try to get 20 pictures on this page."
SO, I arrive at writing. According to my friend Robert, I am a tolerable writer. There is also drama. I think most teachers of English as a Second Language are frustrated drama queens. My siblings have been calling me one for years. I am toying with impromptu script writing and acting. It would beat the hell out of...
...yoga, training guide dogs, ballroom dance or Dutch oven cookery. I made corn bread in my Dutch oven once. Simon called it the densest matter in the universe.
I wonder if I am exceptional in my mediocrity? What about the other working moms out there? How do you find time to practice and master anything? Is there some trick to this that I don't know? Weigh in with wisdom if you have it.
4 comments:
I did a fun presentation on baby care to a bunch of 7 year old. I got some dolls, tiny diapers, etc and showed them how to dress, bathe and diaper a baby. They all thought it was funny and so it went over well. Good luck!
I haven't even mastered the fine art of getting the laundry put up every week
Grant writing is a skill I wish I had. It might be cool for them to learn how writing can be used to do something other than inventing stories for novels. Have them write grant requests from the principal for the classroom to set up a guinea pig research station.
Kate, you are a fabulous writer! And creative in so many other ways. I agree with you that cooking is probably the skill most of us moms are the most apt to teach others, but I'll bet you could make the presentation unique and interesting!
Or the camping/hiking/outdoor stuff. You could talk about safety, going over all the scary beasts out there and what to do if you encounter one. Or what kinds of bugs to eat, plant ID, repeling, stuff like that.
On the other hand, I have a project due tomorrow morning on dung beetles. It's supposed to be geared toward a K-12 audience (I won't decide which age exactly until it's finished...) Anyway, I've only barely started, but you can have it if you want!! Somehow I have to create a lesson plan. I don't know a damned thing about teaching, but I just get so sick of using big words, I thouoght it would be fun to do something geared toward kids.
On the other hand, you could teach them the song you taught me in sixth grade... Hello my honey, hello my baby... maybe together with a little dance...
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