Tomorrow...Is Another Day

I haven't been very amused for the last few days. I wanted my blog for stuff that strikes me as humorous, so all the serious stuff on my mind has not made the blog.

I am writing a federal grant proposal for my little adult English as a Second Language (ESL)program, and the thing is a behemoth. Must include my resume, key job descriptions, a letter from every community collaborator, explaining the partnership and signed by both parties.

Then there's the grant itself. Pages and pages of questions. Explain how my program helps students learn to read through use of systemic phonics and phonemic awareness. There are two sections on "need": "Statement of Need" and "Serving Those Most in Need". Well, what's the difference? One addresses the need our students have for English, and the other is the need the community has for our program. This is a little hard to tease apart at 2:30 AM. And then, there's "The Chart". The chart tells me, for example, that the federal government expects 46% of my students who start in Level One to advance to Level Two next year. To the right are the boxes where I project how many Level 1 students will enroll next year, how many will advance to Level 2, and a place to put the percentage. Let's see.... according to my calculations, that will be....46%! What a coincidence! And by the way, all the volunteers I use? Are they qualified? And my teachers. Please indicate how many of them have a K-12 teaching certificate? Ummm...that'd be 1. How many have a K-12 teaching certificate with a ESL endorsement? Well... none. I'm looking for the place to indicate that 6 of the 7 teachers on our staff have MASTER'S DEGREES in TESL, which totally trumps any other qualification. Not included. I guess I'll write it in.

The thing is going to be f***ing War and Peace by the time I get done with it. It's due on the 31st. I work on it for hours every day, and it's still not close to done. Oh, the the government has the application in electronic form, but it's "read only". I called to ask how I should fill in the charts, etc, and was told that I should use a typewriter. I think Guadalupe still has one...

So, none of this amuses me about his except my own attitude to it. I don't work out like I should, I am crabby to the children, the house gets dirty, the garden gets weedy; but I'm an eternal optimist. Every night when I get into the shower, I always think the same thing. "Ahhh! Tomorrow! A blank slate! Tabula Raza!" The potential for superwomanhood renews itself daily, and always when it's too late to do anything more about today. Tomorrow I will write concise but profound things on the grant, tighten my buns, bake cookies, get the tomatoes planted, make no past tense errors when I speak Spanish, design flawless lesson plans for all my students, and maybe...maybe...dust my desk and throw out the plies of plastic coffee stirrers on it. The keys to the kingdom might all be mine in the morning. And since, as usual, tomorrow has arrived, I guess I'd better get chopping.

I'll be funny again tomorrow, I'm sure.