Thursday, June 28, 2007

Pie

Today's recurring theme seems to be pie.

I have a small rhubarb patch, which the previous homeowner planted in the side-yard, and I've decided I'm going to do something with it at the weekend. If any of you listen to "Prairie Home Companion" on NPR, you can sing along:

One little thing can revive a guy / and that is a slice of rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot/ Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Bee-Bop-A-Ree-Bop Rhubarb Pie.

(Nothing gets the taste of pain and humiliation out of your mouth like Bee-Bop-A-Ree-Bop Rhubarb Pie.)

So I went out to harvest the rhubarb this morning. It doesn't look like my mom's rhubarb, which grows lushly in Wisconsin, with perfect stalks as thick as my thumb. This worries me. All my stalks are pencil thin, and when I have picked all the full-grown stalks (leaving the little ones to grow. A lot. Before Sunday.), I see that I have maybe a cup and a half; I need four cups, according to my Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook. After looking at the rhubarb patch with some concern, I headed for the Rec Center.

I'm tired of running 'round and 'round on the indoor track, and I'm getting diminishing returns from it, anyway. I need to add an element of challenge, so I decided to try the treadmill. I have never liked the idea of treadmills, and I've only used one once before. It was in a hotel during a business trip and I was managing pretty well until I tried to peel off my shirt while running, got it tangled around my head and fell off . A story to relate in more detail another day. So, I approached the treadmills with some trepidation. I stood there for a while, reading the control panel, which rivals that of a 747. Hmmm...it does inclines! I can program it to give me hills! Well, that's pretty exciting. If you read my blog often, you'll know that I'm planning to climb King's Peak in August, and running on an incline would be...training. I imagined myself (delusions of grandeur) running on the treadmill like the Six Million Dollar Man, [cue theme music] up jaw-dropping inclines. For the sake of fantasy, let's have me doing that in my big hiking boots. Oh, let's add a loaded pack. OK, the rec center probably wouldn't let me do that anyway. There must be rules about that. In reality, I spent about 25 minutes pressing random buttons on the machine, trying to figure out how it works. There was considerable lurching and stumbling. I was also distracted by the presence of a TV. I don't see TV very often, as we don't have one at home, so when I see one, I'm entranced. This took my attention away from the task at hand, resulting in my coming off the back of the treadmill. I tried to look casual, as if I'd meant to do that. The control panel also had a "calories burned" indicator. This is very discouraging. I'd run for a while and think, "One Girl Scout Cookie." Theeeeeen, "Two Girl Scout cookies." That got me wondering about how long it would take to burn off a slice of rhubarb pie. Aha! Were you wondering how I was going to segue back to pie?

Finally, I went to Marie Callender's (do they have these all over the country, or just in Utah?). The food at Marie Callenders is of about the same calibre as Dee's, Denny's, Big Boy, etc... But the PIES! Oh, boy. I was after a pie for Father Bittmenn, the priest at St. Patrick's Catholic Church. Father has allowed me to use a couple of his Sunday School rooms on weekdays, to house a new Family Literacy program I was piloting. Guadalupe Schools is filled to the gills with little kids during the day (the adult English classes are at night), but St. Patrick's is right next door to Guadalupe Schools. The class was a big success, I got it funded for next year, and so I wanted to get Father a really superlative pie. Cherry sounded good. I was standing at the counter while the cashier boxed it for me, and I was idly staring at the pie cooler. I looked at the strawberry pie and all my rhubarb anxiety fell away. My path is clear now. I will make strawberry-rhubarb, and then it won't matter if my rhubarb is dysfunctional.

I'd better sign off and take this pie over to the church. It's tempting me.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

No pies here... not GOOD ones anyway. Marie Callenders all over Cali. Sometimes go to them when I come back to the US. Nice to have places like that! The treadmill thing...geez...what can I say.. don't think I've ever been on one.

Anonymous said...

Rhubarb is a heavy feeder - needs lots of nitrogen like I need lots of certain fermented malt beverages. Go to your local garden center & pick up a few bags of composted cow poo and spread out a 2-inch thick layer around the base of your planting. Don't worry about being tidy about it. :)

John

Kate said...

(Sigh of relief) I was hoping you'd come on today. Thanks for the tip - I will obey.

Maya said...

Yes, rhubarb grows big and strong here in Wisconsin. Rhubarb is finished for the year here... waiting patiently for the home grown tomatoes.

If all else fails, make good ole fashion rhubarb crunch bars!

Holly said...

I can honestly say, I've never even eaten a peice of rhubarb pie. It sounds so adventurous in your story though - actually going out to harvest them. I wish the weather hadn't sabotaged my peach trees. I might have been inspired to do a bit of baking myself.
I can relate to your experience on the treadmill though. It's very frustrating to see how few calories you can burn, while feeling you are working your hardest. The payoff in the end is surprising and well worth it.
Good luck in both your pie and treadmill endeavors!

Erin said...

The mention of A Prairie Home Companion and Rhubarb pie makes me miss home! Growing up in MN we grew Rhubarb and every Thanksgiving I still insist on a Strawberry Rhubarb Pie! Not to mention I blame Garrison Keillor for making aspire to work in the music industry!

Anonymous said...

Odd fact about me...I've never tried rhubarb. I don't know why. Weird.

Contgrats on your class getting funded for next year!

Maria said...

I ADORE Prairie Home Companion. I like the moon pie ads too.

I had no idea that there was actually a restaurant called Marie Callenders. I thought it was simply a company that made TV dinners. Liv is allowed ONE salisbury steak Marie Callender dinner per week. And she eats it for lunch. She loves them.

Diane said...

Still "Pie"? As I wait for the next posting, all these great comments make me realize I have something to contribute to this posting after all:

Rhubarb: mine grows gigantic leaves with no cow poo at all...I rarely even treat it to any compost. Hmmmm... is the soil in the midwest alkaline like here? I didn't think so, but I'm an East Coast girl. Rhubarb was the one edible we had out in our backyard in Queens. When we moved to the suburbs, my dad shocked the neighbors by removing the majority of the front lawn and planting an organic veggie garden. Guess I need to blog about that on my garden blog...

Marie Callendar's: When I moved to Utah in '74 I rarely went out to a restaurant... didn't do it much in NY, and *really* didn't do it much in Utah...no dinero. But on rare occasions, our household (3 or 4 out of the 5 of us) would splurge - $4.95 for all-you-can-eat soup, one pass through the salad bar, a piece of pie and a beverage. We had it down- cucumbers lined the edge of the salad bowl, rendering it an inch or two taller, and we took our pie home with us, the better to fill up on the soup and salad. Of course, we all went immediately for the forks upon arrival. :-)

Rebecca said...

mmmmm. rhubarb pie! yum! We also use to put cut up rhubarb in a bowl with a bit of sugar overnight. Next day, rhubarb, with its syrup and abit of cream over it. WOW!!

As for the treadmill, i find the elliptical machine is a much bigger bang for the calories burned buck. 600 calories gone in 40 minutes! Love it. Easier on the knees, too.

Diane, where in queens? I, too, had no idea Marie Callenders was a chain of restaurants...None in NY, only the TV dinners.

Epimenides said...

Since you'll be making strawbery-rhubarb pie, I'll settle for a slice of the strawbery part (Haha).
Regarding teadmills. I have an ongoing challenge with the one in my gym! I've spent countless "Girl scout cookies" on it, but I still have a few pies to go! ;)

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