Simon is in Crested Butte on business until Sunday night, so I'm on my own. He always feels guilty about these trips: says he hates to leave me with all the chores and stuff while he's gone. Usually, I don't envy him, with the glaring exception of the night he called me from Hotel Telluride and told me he had a room with a stone fireplace and a bed that must be ascended by step stool. I do miss him; but in some ways it's kind of nice, too. This morning, I was helping the kids get their stuff together for school and I reminded them that Dad would be gone for a few days. This is the part where I ask them to be extra helpful, etc... "You know what that means, don't you?" Nate thinks for a few seconds and squeals, "ROCKY ROAD!!" (Si hates marshmallow, so we eat Rocky Road ice cream and other things he doesn't like while he's gone.)
I'm pretty lazy about cooking when Si's not around, at least on week nights. We will eat macaroni and cheese (the gross-looking, neon yellow kind from a packet). I will be able to make the bed with a quick tug on the barely-disturbed covers. I will have all the hot water I want. On Saturday, the laundry will be less. I will not have to negotiate, listen, compromise, inform or discuss for five whole days. In fact, when you don't have a relationship to maintain, it's amazing how much time you save!
BUT. This is a BIG but. My house scares the S*** out of me.
As I'm sitting here typing, I'm pausing every few seconds to look over my shoulder at the office door. I do OK when I'm upstairs in the part of the house where we spend most of our time; but down here in the basement, where the office is? Every ping from the vents, every thump of the furnace...I find myself wondering, why the hell am I DOWN HERE? Just about every light in the house is on. In a minute, I will turn off the downstairs lights and scurry upstairs as if a chain saw murderer were after me. Upstairs, I'll be OK - I have strategies: leave a light on in the living room all night; take my shower with one eye on the door knob. [Mr. Hitchcock! Cue the strings! WREE WREE WREE...]; I keep the radio playing low until I'm ready to sleep, so I can attribute odd sounds to it (Was that a drunken maniac trying to break down the door? No, just Toby Kieth);I forgot to buy one of my important crutches, though- Tylenol PM.
OOOOKKKKK..... if the axe murderer (or was it a chain saw killer?) appears at the office door this minute, I will...THROW...something! Um... my teaspoon! I will HURL the teaspoon at him, and it will jam the chain in the chainsaw. No. The phone! Have you seen the trailer for the "Get Smart" movie? Where he says to the bad guy, "Never underestimate the power of..SURPRISE!" and he THROWS the phone receiver at him, but the cord is too short? That's me. If I live to see another day, I will blog again. Otherwise...
Maybe tomorrow, I will blog about when we lived in the cabin. There, I used to get REALLY spooked (It was the perfect setting for one of those teen horror flicks.) and some funny stuff DID happen up there, too. Tomorrow. For now, I think I hear someone murdering the children. He's going to phone in a second and ask if I've checked on them lately, so I'd better publish this.
13 comments:
i really loved that trailer. ok, i know this is not the main topic, but that movie is rrrreeeeally promising.
Kate, I've never been in the basement of your new house but your old place up in the canyon was creepier at night, in my opinion. When I babysat Nate and Sarah and put them to bed, I'll never forget how they both screamed in unison the INSTANT I turned off the hall light. haha good times, good times
The basement would scare the shit out me, too. That would be complete rationalization for the purchase of both a wireless router and a laptop..."honey, I need to blog from the living room while you are away...I can better keep an ear on the kids..." Yeah, Yeah, that's the ticket :)
must be fun to miss your hubby for a few days. there were probably three nights in the last 15 years that i spent without dave, and two of those nights were spent in the hospital!
Too funny - the Get Smart thing cracked me up!
Sounds like you need a trained killer attack dog...or at least a barking dog MP3 you can fire up when you feel spooked. ;^D
p.s. Our killer attack dogs were a series of small terriers who were fully capable of licking you to death
Goodness, you're tootally cracking me up over here!! TOO darn funny..although not funny that you are home alone and spooked. I hate that feeling. Somehow, I too, feel that if hubby is home I have a better chance of surviving a massacre...but in all reality, he sleeps like a rock. We'd be long dead before he knew what was going on..LOl..so not funny!!!!
Sleep tight..leave the lights on forget the electric bills!!!!
Ha HA Ha....how funny! yeah i know how you feel..though i have to admit i found the Shining intensely funny.... ooops..and oh..yeah I like the neon-colored macaroni and cheese too! YUMMY!
Oh I know that feeling too well! I love having the house to myself but I always insist on every light being on, just in case something sinister is lurking in the shadows!
Enjoy your macaroni cheese!
Seagrape: He loves you too much! Didn't your friend James just move away? Maybe you could send the Foul Bastard to see him for a weekend.
And I have to comment further that I find it really odd that SO MANY WOMEN get wiggy when they're home alone! Do we just have more vivid imaginations than men?
Hope the road is not too rocky.
I love Mac and cheese and devilled eggs
I admit to sort of liking it when Bing is away. I get to watch whatever I like on TV. Liv and I live on takeout and there is no chiding about MSG or junk food.
I'm rarely scared...unless I am in the basement. There is something just....terrifying about a basement at midnight.
And before I forget....I recently saw The Shining again on the big screen at an alternative theater and is is just me...or has the acting gotten considerably better over the years?
My sister and I sat there laughing at Shelley Duvall and I distinctly remember shuddering when I first saw that movie....
I loved this post, because to freely admit that you ENJOY the time when your hubby is gone is very refreshing. Mine left me for 10 days to heli-ski in Canada...... and, yeah, same as you, only we eat pancakes for dinner and peanut butter cup ice cream and I stay up late watching movies that I've been dying to see but would not otherwise watch were he home. The house stays cleaner. It's quieter.
I meant to blog about all this while he was gone, but never got around to it. Thanks for giving me the chance to ramble here.
Oh yeah, and I thought of you over spring break 'cause we were in UTAH!!!! :-)
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