Chocolate Porcupine

So, we were out to dinner the other night and Nate ordered one of these. Actually this isn't the exact same thing: Nate's was way bigger and slathered in ice cream. I asked whether his eyes might not be too big for his stomach. No, he saved room. I hate it when kids save room.

He couldn't finish it, of course, so we brought quite a bit of Porky home in a box. In the meantime, I had decided that I need to go back on my diet. I do fine with it until it's almost supper time. Then, I have a really hard time not snacking. I'm so hungry. Three days after the arrival of the now forgotten porcupine, I was making supper and feeling...let's say, peckish..and also rebellious (diets have that effect on me). I saw the box in the fridge, opened it and dived in. I mean, I was scooping up the chocolate in my fingers and cramming it in my mouth, looking right and left like I was some kind of burglar, even though I knew everyone else was out at soccer practice. Yummmmmmy!

Nate ate very well at supper and popped up from the table with a meaningful look at his dad. "Yes," said Si. "You ate such a good supper. Now you can have that chocolate porcupine." "GOOOOOOOOOODYYYYYYY!!!!!" Nate ran for the fridge, arms outstretched for the handle.

Aw, shit. So he hadn't forgotten it after all.

"Nate! Just a second! Come here for a minute!"
"Just a sec, Mom. I have to get my yummy porcupine!"
"No, come here first. I need to talk to you about....the... porcupine."

Simon's eyes went wide. My in-laws both turned to watch. Simon says, "Did you EAT the..."
He turned purple with supressed amusement. I shot him the evil eye.

"Nate, come here and sit on Mom's lap for a minute." [Simon snorts.]
Nate gives me that grin that means he is about to burst into tears.
"You see, Nate, I thought you had forgotten about the porcupine, so I-"
"You ate it!?! OH MY GOD, MOM!"
"Well, I'm very, very sorry. I had no idea you still wanted it. It was wrong of me to eat it. [Meanwhile, I was thinking how tasty it had been and wondering if I really repented.]

Nate BURST into tears. "Burst" is a very good verb to describe the way that Nate cries. The tears positively squirt out of his eyes. They were raining down on my arm.

"Well, now, Nate. Maybe we could have a trade..."
"WHAT KIND OF TRADE?"
"Well, would you like to have a couple of the chocolates I brought back from San Fr-"
"THOSE ARE ALREADY MY CHOCOLATES. YOU BROUGHT THEM BACK FOR MEEEEE!"
"Oh, that's right. What about three of my favorite Hob-Nobs from England?"
"I DON'T WANT A COOKIE!"
"Donut from the grocery store"?"

The tears stopped instantly. INSTANTLY. So abruptly that I'm surprised a rainbow didn't shoot out of his nose.

"DEAL!" He took the edge of his shirt, wiped the tears off my arm and ran off to play. "Hey, Sara! Guess what?"